Say What?!

What do you tell your 7 and 4 year old about bad language? A few days ago, luckily out of earshot of dad (who would immediately blame me), Porter asked, "Mom, what does sombitch mean?" Just like that. My immediate reaction was to have to stifle a very loud chortle--something that foul coming from such a sweet, innocent face. Then, bafflement as I struggled to think when I last said that (I blame myself for their foul language too). But that particular word is not in my repertoire of things to say when stubbing a toe, or dropping a hot pan of pasta sauce on my clean kitchen floor. So, I'm completely baffled as to where he got that one.

I've found that I have to separate what words can be said in what location. I don't want to invest importance into silly words--crap, fart, poop are not a bad words, especially when only said in the bathroom. Likewise, dipstick is fine in the garage. But when you use these words to make someone feel bad, that is bad. I'm trying to teach them that the words themselves are not bad, but the intention behind the use of the word is.

So imagine my horror when my 7 year old asked (after playing with Tigger at his cousin's house), "Mom, what does n----r mean?" This did not make me laugh at all--where on earth did he hear this one?! To me, that word is the ultimate in mean words--the intention of that word is to demean. I tried calmly to explain that to my son--we don't ever use that word, it is only a mean word. He said it a few more times, rephrasing the original question, I think to just get it out of his system.

I read a story in the Redding paper last week when we were visiting. The story talks about two moms taking their 3 early readers to the playground. The slide made a great microphone so the moms could hear everything their kids were saying. They were laughing at some of the fun comments they were making up until the 2 boys started swearing like sailors. The girls mom looked at the boy's mother accusingly, and she could not figure out where they'd heard these words. Then, the girl said, "Mother-father. . .ha! they spelled father wrong!" The moms realized that the kids were reading the graffiti off the inside of the slide.